Bipolar Affirmation for Discernment 

Today I choose well and I focus on actions towards good and lasting things.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Daily Song/Track & Album blog


Reclaiming & Celebrating the Spirit
from Affirmations for Survivors: Spirituality (Guided Meditations by Amethyste Rah) 
Amethyste Rah is my self-assigned spiritual name.
This album was released in 2007.

It features my speaking, and the music of Thaddeus.

Tracks and album available to listen or download from Amazon, Bandcamp, CD Baby, YouTube, etc.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Daily Song & Album blog 10-26-17

Song: Stand By My Side

Album: Beautiful 

[4th Album/2004] Well deserving of its title, this stellar studio release features 7 well-crafted original songs plus 3 new interpretations of songs by Sheryl Crow, Roberta Flack, and Emmylou Harris, done in Xavier’s inimitable style.


(Thank you, I’m tired. 🙂

* [Music downloads][]
* [Music “listening room”][]
* [YouTube 

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

We Are Meant To Need Each Other 

(The following will appear in the November 2017 online issue of Wisdom Magazine.)

We Are Meant To Need Each Other

I think we spend too much time worrying about not being good enough or self-sufficient enough. We feel guilty for having flaws and imposing on others. And we may also judge others for their weaknesses, flaws, and helplessness.
I know I do and feel all of the above.
At the same time I know we are meant to need each other, and in fact I say this, one of my favorite phrases, often.
Recently someone close to me requested my help in a task she was doing as a favor to a friend of hers. This was a relatively big task and I felt some resentment over being enlisted to service someone I felt had been enabled for years. 
Seconds after having that thought I realized that people could and some did say the very same things about me and my seeming inability to be fully and consistently self-sufficient. 
I saw how we are truly mirrors of one another and I ceased my judgment at once, because I saw that it didn’t really matter what this persun’s motivations or abilities were, this persun I know an am close to chose to help and I could choose to help them help their friend.
Immediately upon making that decision, I began to feel very good about it and reap many benefits.
First I felt very useful. I knew my help would greatly ease the burden of the work.
Then, I recalled that I myself have the same project to do over the next month or so, and I saw that I could use my involvement in this project as practice and to better run my own job when the time came.
Then, I saw how everyone involved was blessed by the help: my friend and I were able to spend time together, I grew as a persun, and this other persun received help.
Lastly, I received the joyful feelings that come from receiving several exclamations of thanks, gratitude,  and appreciation.

Our weaknesses are often opportunities for us to come together and improve our characters,  to be kinder, more generous, and more patient.

Next time you feel badly for having a flaw or needing someone’s help, remember that without flaws or weakness, we would not get together nearly as much, if at all.

Remember, we are in fact designed this way.
We are meant to need each other.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Being rich isn’t just about money (Bubzbeauty quote) 

“Being rich isn’t just about money. You can be rich from happiness. You can be rich from knowledge. Some people are so poor, all they have is money. Remember, You can buy a house, but not a home. You can buy sex, but not love. You can buy a bed, but not rest. You can buy a clock, but not time. You can buy fame, but not respect. You can buy a book, but not knowledge.”

  – Bubz, of YouTube channel Bubzbeauty 

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Pray Without Ceasing 

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

​Bipolar/PTSD Chronicles: Writing & Depression 

One of the things I appreciate most about writing is that I can do it even when I’m depressed. Whether kvetching or moaning or whining or ranting or peptalking I can still write.

I didn’t know I was depressed until I got some pics from my nesting partner sharing his day with me.

 I had texted him that I wasn’t going out today but had been doing housework instead. He texted back thank you and to rest because it was cold and wet out anyway. That felt nice and then I saw an email response from him to the email I had sent earlier in which I reminded him that morning time is for me a time of prayer, meditationaries and reflectitudes. (He had been playfully kicking me, trying to get my attention as I was on my tablet.)

 I told him how important writing is to me, and especially when I’m going through a crisis, and since I’m not working right now I feel especially called to write for my own and others inspiration. 

 If I were still living in the city I would be more likely to go out and busy myself, going to the library, running errands, and volunteer as I have for years,

 But since leaving my volunteer position and co-working space of 4.5 years in September I am no longer commuting regularly to the city. I am now in the suburbs with little to do but eat, watch TV, gain weight, and write. I am glad to have the last bit because it will help me do other things I should, such as exercise, sing, play guitar, write songs, go out, get a job, volunteer, etc., not necessarily in that order, as there are feelings of difficulty associated with more than one of those things.

 I am writing this from bed and that gives me hope, because I am writing.

 Writing is a solutely amazing. I am grateful to my friend and mentor who told me that it, not my singing/music, is my primary gift and talent. I don’t feel that’s the truth, only his perspective, but it does give me more value as a writer, in my eyes. It helps me appreciate myself more,and it makes me more excited about writing.

 Today I feel depressed. I canceled my weekly therapy session for the second week in a row. 
I am happy and proud that in the last three days I have eaten brown rice, collards, beans, sardines, garlic-infused EVOO, apple cider vinegar, unsweetened almond milk, I have done less lying down and a little back and stomach (“core”) strengthening exercising, prayer and meditation, housework,writing, and less worrying!
I hope to write more, exercise more, eat less and worry less.
Happy to be here, and thanks for reading.
My readers are necessary for my writing to continue and grow, and writing is my medicine. It gives me a sense of meaning, purpose, and fulfillment to, in,and for my life. So thanks again 🙂

Links to more of my writings:

Wisdom Magazine, monthly column since 2009:

Primary blog (including poems, recipes, and more spirituality): [here][]

Erotic blog:

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment