Amethyste’s Angels: Meditation for Anxiety – Trash Bags on

Amethyste’s Angels
Meditation for Anxiety: Trash Bags on the Sidewalk

by Amethyste Rah

Dear Friends,

As I was trying to sleep last night, I was having difficulty letting go of a couple of worrisome thoughts. I have PTSD and am living in a situation that triggers me regularly and in a significant way that reminds me of the trauma that caused the disorder.
I tried to think my way out of those feelings, and tried to feel my way out of those thoughts. I wanted to sleep.
I even prayed to God, something that isn’t my usually go-to as I had a difficult childhood reared on fundamentalist christianity which actually added to my initial trauma.
Nothing was really working, although the prayer brought a small amount of relief.
Just when I was about to give up, I got an image of a woman tying up a trash bag. That was it! I was just going to put all my worries and feelings of anxiety of the moment (and there are many per moment in my day-to-day life!) and those that God felt I should also let go of (whatever they were, and I was relieved at not having to know what they were), and put them out on the sidewalk. The sidewalk represented their being out of my head, mind, and consciousness.
I did that and felt immediate relief. I was asleep soon after that.
I now believe that my prayer did actually work.
Angels are the arms and thoughts of God. They are God’s gift to us, to help us make our lives easier, and to help us have a better relationship with the divinity that is within each of us.
One of the things I appreciate most about the angels is that they are completely non-denomenational. They work for everyone regardless of religious or spiritual belief, or even no belief.
Two ways they do this is to help get us out of harm’s way when it is not yet our time to leave the planet, and come to our aid when we ask for their assistance. The best way to call the angels is to say or think, “Angels, please help me!” But they also answer our call or cry to God, for whom they work.
I believe this is what happened when I cried out for relief from my painful thoughts last night. I believe God heard and answered my prayer by sending an angelic thought and vision of myself “taking out the trash” of my worrisome thoughts.
It is about 4:30 in the morning as I type this.
I have some steel cut oats finishing up on the stove, and I hear the alarm go off upstairs, where I know my date and domestic companion will continue to snooze a bit before we leave in about an hour for our day out and apart before reuniting in the early evening.
Actually, now I am sitting and munching on those oats, which I prepared in water, then seasoned with cinnamon, and sweetened with honey.
I am grateful for this opportunity to write this, and I now see it as an answer to another one of my prayers, a daily one, that I write more often.
I appreciate your readership. 🙂

Angel Meditation for Anxiety: Trash Bags on the Sidewalk

For when you want to cease a strong flow of thoughts and feelings of worry.
1)Close your eyes.
2) Take a few slow, very deep breaths. Imagine the breaths cleansing not only your body but also your mind free of worry.
3) Imagine yourself standing outside where you put your trash. You are bending over slightly, using a twistie tie to close up a large bag full of garbage. These items of refuse are the thoughts that are bothering you now, as well as a bunch of others you either are or are not aware of.
4) See yourself smiling as you stand upright again, and walk back to your home, away from the trash bag. (If you need to have more than one bag, feel free to create, fill, and leave out as many as necessary!)
5) See yourself now inside your home, peacefully doing whatever you want (in my case it was sleeping, and smile broadly, knowing your trash is now out where it can’t affect you anymore.
6) Say or think “Good riddance!”
7) Give thanks to God, and the angels. And make a mental note to call upon them again soon.

with angel blessings,
Amethyste Rah

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Amethyst is the birthstone of, and Amethyste Rah is the self-assigned soul name of multi-media healing artist Cassendre Xavier. Amethyste has done angel readings, dream interpretations, and spiritual counseling in various forms since the early 90s. She was ordained by God before birth as we all are, and by law in 2010. She is the creator of the Affirmations for Survivors guided meditation series, with “Self-Love” and “Spirituality” released in 2007, and “Sexuality” and “Life Skills” soon forthcoming, as well as a new line of angel and crystal meditations in progress. Amethyste’s meditations feature background music of light by Thaddeus, used with permission from Under the name Cassendre Xavier, she has been a monthly columnist at Wisdom Magazine’s online edition since 2009. For more information and to read the latest “Amethyste Angels” blog posts,


© Copyright 2017 by Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah). All rights reserved. Permission is granted to reprint/share all or parts of this article provided this Copyright section is included and no profit is made. Thanks for sharing ethically!

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Goddess Sundays: Goddess is Like a Cat

Goddess Sundays

Where every week we explore feminine aspects of the Divine

Goddess is Like a Cat

In the early 90s I worked in a gay and feminist bookstore, where I discovered and devoured many wonderful books. One such item was called “Cats and Their Dykes.”
 In this book I read, among other things, about misogyny, hatred of female sexuality, and how products are often sold using images of over-sexualized women.


I realized that my up til then hatred of cats had to do with my own fear and self-hatred of my sexual self. I worked on it and went from becoming a dog persun to a cat persun, and then to one who almost worships cats and adores dogs as a symbol of unconditional and never-ending love.
 I believe those who control society want us to hate Goddess the way they taught us to hate cats, as they were hated, tortured, and killed in England and surrounding areas many years ago.
 It’s interesting that people in places like Egypt had the opposite reaction to both Goddess and cats -they worshiped both.
 Ask yourself who has anything to gain by promoting the idea that Goddess is to be killed.
 Ask where the true power might be.

 The answer is in your heart.

Thanks for letting me share 🙂
Cassendre Xavier
Multi-Media Healing Artist
with many names and titles
but who is NOT a multiple (not that there’s anything wrong with that)!

Copyright (c) 2017 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved.
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Poppy Seeds &Cigarette Smoke: Seeing the blessings in challenging situations

Poppy Seeds and Cigarette Smoke: Seeing the blessings in a challenging situation…

by Cassendre Xavier

[Read this article online:

I am a passive smoker now. I learned this term yesterday when Googling the effects of living with a smoker.
About a couple of weeks ago I started staying with one of my sweeties, whom I have been dating since June. Assisting with my current situation of dealing with one of my life challenge/life skill issues of maintaining sufficient income for/or otherwise obtaining steady, independent housing, he offered me to stay with him.
But he smokes. In fact, he’s a chain smoker.
While it bothered me when we were just dating, I was able to get away from the cigarette smoke for the days and sometimes 2 weeks between our dates.
Now, unless I take time off and away, I am surrounded by it much of time. (Thankfully he does not smoke on the second floor, which is where the bedrooms are and where I often get away to if needed.)
I abhor the smell of cigarette smoke. And I have a very strong sense of smell.
Walking around during the day, outside of the house, I can smell the smoke on my clothes, and it disgusts me that I not only smell that bad, but that others now smell this on me and think I am a smoker, which I wouldn’t give a hairy turd about if I actually were!
I was becoming so disturbed about the fact that I am now reaping the glowing health benefits (sarcasm!!) of secondhand smoke, and that I am now an odiferous walking advertisement for NOT taking on or continuing this harmful habit, that I decided to switch gears.
I chose to see cigarette smoke in two ways:
1)As a sign that I had yet again been so committed to creating my own positive, independent housing situation that I attracted a situation that had built-in guards to ensure I wouldn’t stay too long.
2)As something to be grateful for, as the cigarette smoke was from someone who is acting as a friend and trying to help me out.

I also recalled an article I had read from one of the associates of bestselling author Arielle Ford (Soulmate Secret, and Wabi Sabi Love). This persun was talking about her own experience of Wabi Sabi Love, in that her husband drove her crazy always leaving poppy seeds on the kitchen sink and counter. No matter how many times this woman pleaded and nagged, the poppy seeds would reappear morning after morning after his breakfast bagel.
The woman was invited to imagine one morning NOT seeing the poppy seeds. She said she immediately felt very saddened and almost started to cry at the thought, because she realized that no poppy seeds meant no “Joe” or whatever his name is!
So I did that, and I am doing that. Whenever I experience the negative side effects of the cigarette smoke that my companion and helper creates in his home, which he is generously sharing with me, I just re-channel those feelings into whatever will help me to improve my situation. And it has caused some action this week, on beginning to apply for state-assisted housing for people with severe mental illness (I have the qualifying Bipolar 2 Disorder), as well as developing other thoughts for my professional projects and how I can begin to earn income again if not sooner, then definitely later.
I am so grateful for all that comes to give me relief, even if it isn’t perfect, because I know humyns aren’t perfect, and I also know there are benefits to everything, if I am willing to look for and/or create them.

I wish you so much joy in your life, and that you are increasing in your realization that most of your feelings about your life and all of its contents are totally within your control. YOU control how you feel and what you make of everything that happens.
Make it good, and make yourself a beautiful day!

Thanks for listening,

Multi-Media Healing Artist

Copyriight (c) 2017 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved.

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New Inspiration Line Message!

Dear Friends & Complete Total Strangers!
New message on my Free, 24-hour Inspiration Line! “Depression Happens – Stay Calm and Treat It!” (Bipolar/PTSD Chronicles) 215-552-8850
Make yourself a beautiful day!


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“Me! Me! Me!” Helpful Friends ediccione

“Me! Me! Me!” a Cassendre Xavier museletter

The “Helpful Friends” ediccione, if you will. (As it were.)


Friday, February 3, 2017

An undisclosed lair (aka “hotel” 🙂 ) in Center City, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States of America




Dear Friends and total strangers whom I have never met or even heard of not even once,


How’s it goin’.

I’m feeling pretty good. Thank you for being part of my reading and caring audience. If you didn’t pay attention to what I say and do, I would not feel as supported. Attention is good. I appreciate you!



Some time ago I put it out there (“in the Universe” as my hippie New Agers/”ancient wisdom” peers say) that I wanted men friends who added more comfort to my life. And that’s recently been happening. It feels really good to receive support, especially emotional. Sometimes a man will be gruff but then I hear so much warmth and care in his voice, and see his actions follow suit.

It took me a long time to start manifesting helpful man friends, to see or experience helpfulness in the man friends I already had, because of my very strong desire to be a fully independent womon.

Energetically and mathematically it didn’t match to not want to depend on a man and also attract men who would help me fix the major problem(s) in my life, financially speaking. I envied women who did have this kind of support, particularly if their relationships were healthy and loving.

 I don’t have anyone paying my bills or putting me up or providing me a home. I am not even receiving large amounts of cash. But I am receiving more small and medium, and always significant material and emotional gifts and gestures of affection, respect, and definite support. Care, I suppose it is. Care of a different kind – one I hadn’t asked for before, nor expected to receive. Both are happening now and I am truly grateful.

I know I shouldn’t be that grateful. It should be a given and I, like you, and like everyone else is, I am definitely worthy of care, affection, respect, and material and emotional support of various and reasonable kinds.

But we all have our issues, and while we are confident in some areas, others – not so much.

I think gratitude is what really counts in attitude, so I focus on that. That helps me remove the focus from how I “should” be feeling. I have more help from my men friends and I’m happy about that. I think that’s the key – to be happy but not over-grateful. 🙂





The fundraiser is now at $630! Thank you to all who have donated! I have been using the funds to pay for very reasonably priced hotel room stays that have been a big help to me. I am feeling much better, and lighter. I have been able to see humor appear in my writing – humor I used to write a lot of when I first started my museletters years ago. When shortly after the first donations came in I read back an email I had sent out, and I saw that I had been funny in it, I was surprised, because I hadn’t seen any humor in my writing in a very long time. I had completely forgotten I was ever even funny in my emailing to ye, my audience types. This told me I was really “in a shape” as a sweetie of mine says. This is why I say thank you so often, because I really do respond well to help. I also seem to have a ridiculously high tolerance for emotional and physical discomfort, which is why so many years can go by without my even noticing my sense of humor had withered away, thankfully only temporarily.

Of course it would be even funnier if I was the only one who thought what I wrote was funny, and if I in fact have lost my funny and would never again regain it. That would be high-LARIOUS!

Thanks, people. I will write another fundraiser update soon. 🙂


To read, to learn, to giveth of thyself, and/or to shareth with othereths:






  • Where I put most of my lovin’ attention, writer-wise, on a daily-like basis: All of the Facebooks (its birthday of which is tomorrow, by the way – Happy Birthday, Facebook!) And also on all of the Twitters henceforth:


  • My primary blog:, where you can read my latest posts “How to Talk About Your Problems,” and “What’s Wrong with Being Broken?”


Selected Wisdom Magazine Articles:


  • 10 Powerful & Loving Thoughts & Affirmations for the New Year
  • Living with Bipolar Disorder: Women’s Issues & Needs
  • Redefining Sobriety: When You Don’t Fit in the Recovery Box
  • Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us: “It’s Complicated”
  • Don’t Save the Best for Last


View them at (or



I wish for you increased self-empowerment and self-actualization, today and every day going forward.

I’d like to thank all of my supporters in recent years and especially in recent months.

This issue of Me! Me! Me! is dedicated to my supportive man friends who have brought comfort to my life during some very difficult challenges of the past year or so.

The tablet I am writing this on is a gift from one of my main squeezes. The lovely hotel room and desk I am sitting at is a gift from myself, from my fundraiser donors, and from another squeeze.

A gal can never have too many friends, that is, until it is time to manifest Her one and primary. But that is for another time and museletter 😉


Thank you as always, for your continued support of my art/work, and therefore, life.


Very best,

Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls, aka Endowed Goddesss)

renaissance negresse (musician, writer, actress, fine artist)

$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning Founder & Director of the Women’s Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)

Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003)

Official website:


Copyright © 2017 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved.

(video: cover of my song “I’m Back Now” performed by Kasheera.)

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Me! Me! Me! “Fundraiser Update & More!”

Dear Friends!

Thank you for your growing contributions to my housing fundraiser! As of this typing, you have donated $580 (of the $3,000 goal)!

I am enjoying the temporary relief that hotel stays have given me, but I see that it’s time to find something more economical. That is my new goal for immediate relief from street homelessness (since June 2016, and shelter homelessness before that, since June2015).

I do not want anyone to feel embarrassed or bad for me, because I am enjoying all there is to enjoy in life! And now that I’ve come out of the homelessness closet, I feel free to speak about what’s been going on for me.

Unfortunately, I don’t seem to have the energy to do this, nor for the many other projects I’ve been wanting to either complete, or promote. This lack of energy has much to do with the symptoms of my mental illness and trauma history (Bipolar 2 and PTSD), which while managed with medication and weekly psychotherapy, still significantly slow down my activities, and limit my ability to engage with others.

I would like to begin to dwell on what I am doing and can offer and sell, instead of what I am lacking and am seeking assistance with…

I have 7 albums of music and 2 of spoken word guided meditation albums (CD and download) at:

You can also listen at

Also, at Spotify, iTunes, and Amazon, among others.

You can read my spiritual/uplifting/personal growth articles at Wisdom Magazine’s online edition:

And you can read my other writings at my:

Main blog, and

Erotic blog

You can watch me talking and singing and making raw vegan foods at my YouTube channel:

You can call my Free, 24-hour Inspiration Line at 215-552-8850


To contribute to or financially support my art/work, and therefore, life, please visit my fundraising campaign at

Feel free to share it with others if you think they might be interested 🙂

If you would like to discuss other methods of payment, you can message me here or via Facebook, etc.

I feel so much better to have finally written this. I’ve wanted to write this all day. Procrastination hurts! But the relief when action is finally taken, is sawwwweeeet!

Well, that’s all for now.

Thanks for being here, and I’ll write again soon!


Cassendre Xavier

(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls, aka Endowed Goddess)

renaissance negresse

(musician, writer, actress, fine artist)

Multi-Media Healing Artist


Recent writings:

Goddess Sundays: Deciding What to Believe, or Whose Intellectual Heritage?

Bipolar Chronicles: Relationship Alternatives for the Perpetually Grumpy!

manos (poem)

Goddess Sundays: Tired & Creative

3 Reasons to Keep Going


Bonus YouTube videos:

Intro to Green Smoothies Part 1 of 3

Affirmations Intro by Amethyste Rah (CX)

Increasing Self-Love…Affirmations for Survivors by Amethyste Rah (CX)


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Goddess Sundays: To Receive is Divine

Goddess Sundays- where every week we celebrate feminine aspects of the divine…(on Facebook and Twitter for many months 🙂

To Receive is Divine

by Cassendre Xavier

January is “Get a Balanced Life Month” and what better way to celebrate than to practice receiving. The truly powerful and effective at living do not only give. We know that giving too much creates physical and emotional ailments. Codependence comes to mind as an unhealthy condition of over-giving.
One of the things about giving too much that we often forget is that the receiver also suffers. As in codependence, when we give too much to someone or help them too much, we enable them to be weak and never improve – never face their problems or related consequences.
In the case of giving a compliment or a gift, that act of giving is not complete until the receiver has done their part. Part of that is simply saying, “You’re welcome.” Not, “My pleasure,” or “No problem,” but “You’re welcome.
Saying “You’re welcome” acknowledges that you know you are giving something and you receive the thanks you are given.
One of my sweeties is being trained by me to say “You’re welcome.” I don’t feel good after I say thank you for a gift until I’ve heard “You’re welcome.” Then I know my thank you has been received. The answer I get after specifically requesting a “You’re welcome” is “Of course you’re welcome.” But I don’t know that until I hear it, or rather I want to hear it anyway. I need that.
It’s much like children need to hear “I love you”. Or adults in a romantic relationship. It isn’t enough for it to be understood.
In order to be truly powerful and live authentic, self-actualized lives, we must become adept at receiving as well as we give.
Also, receiving gives the giver the opportunity to give and to serve, which are both not only very honorable but pleasurable activities. Until something is received, it cannot be truly given.
Additionally, when it comes to asking for help, love, companionship, money, support, encouragement, hugs, etc., it takes courage. Asking for help is one of the most difficult things for people to do, especially those with self-esteem or previous abuse issues.
This can be overcome with practice, and with seeking images and examples of individuals, organization, and even corporations which are in the regular habit of asking not only for money, but lots of it. There is no shame in asking for help or any kind of assistance, especially when one has worked and earned various kinds of support.
When it comes to love, though, we have nothing to earn. We are born worthy of love. If you don’t feel you are getting enough love and support from a friend, lover, or any other kind of relationship partner, after asking for it, that’s a big and bold sign to step AWAY from that relationship!
You should be able to ask for and receive what you want in a relationship, if love is what we’re talking about. Love should never have to be earned. And if you think it should, you’re either in a relationship or you’re talking about something kinky!
Here’s to you in becoming balanced in both giving and receiving this January, and every day going forward.

(c) 2017 by Cassendre Xavier. Permission granted to reprint with complete author credit and website:
Never let it be said!

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