Survivor’s Corner & Bipolar/PTSD Chronicles: Not Strong Enough for Atheism

I wish I were strong enough to be an atheist, but the truth is i would have been gone long ago, if I hadn’t been reared fundamentalist christian. As much as I believe threatening children with gorily described hell was a form of child abuse, it was also fear of that hell that prevented me from following through with my frequent thoughts of suicide.
Over time I have relaxed my fear of hell to the point of near non-existence, and I still consider myself to be intellectually agnostic if not atheist. But emotionally I still need everything in my spirituality arsenal, as woo-woo or fluffy or fairy tale-y it may be. I need my angels and my reincarnation and when I make the time to do the work on reclaiming a loving god in my image, yes, I need God, too.

About cassendre

aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls “renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur” (musician/writer/actress/fine artist) Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). Visit: http://cassendrexavier.com
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